July, July, July

I sit and look into Hazel’s big rich eyes as her blinks get longer and longer and her wriggling little body settles more and more, and I am overcome with wonder. I love this little kid so much. I tell her about all of the qualities I think and hope she’ll have. I tell her that she’ll probably be emphatic and sensitive, but funny and sharp. I tell her that she’ll be capable and strong, but delicate and beautiful, like spider’s silk.

She smiles as she falls asleep. That’s how I know she’ll truly be out soon. The work of processing every confusing new experience moment by moment is nearing a close for the day, and she can grin at a job well-done.

We recently had our first day & night away for Kat’s birthday and it was an amazing 9+ hours of sleep. An enormous debt of gratitude is owed to Debra for not only being so willing to take Hazel, but also for so obviously loving her so much. Our hike was lovely in the downpour and 70 mph winds. I’m not sure Hazel would have been quite cut out for it just yet.

Brock and Hazel are bonding. Perhaps he recognizes another warm body to cuddle up to. Kibby loves her so much that we have to pull her away from Hazel because she won’t stop kissing her until we force her to. Roger doesn’t seem interested but he’s probably autistic so I’m not sure he knows how to express himself emotionally to her. They are all going to be very, very good friends, one way or another. I can’t wait to see her bloom.

Our situation is so fortunate that I worry about how much I’ve gained such that I have more now to lose than ever before, but I can’t dwell on it. It’s an unbelievable gift.

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