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Our Life

Like a flash
you race away
Arms reaching back
heading towards the future

A stumble,
a moment of confusion,
and a pause

You look up with a determined curiosity
Hand me a piece of dust 
With a quick ‘tank you’
and a huff
You’re off

Fearlessly going down slides
Climbing up and down, 
and up and down stairs

You rub your eyes and murmur ‘up’
I hold you tight, little one. 
As I rock you, singing songs
I want to press pause 
on this moment.

The sound of breathing has changed
Soundlessly, I place you in bed.

This is a memory I will cherish. 
Just a blip of life

Our life.

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Sweet One

Sweet one, 
tonight I kissed your face
Soft pink cheeks
Furrowed brow erupting into smiles
In your beeming eyes
a sea of wonder
a fascination of 
the here and now
Instant and raw emotions

From moment to moment
I watch you grow before my eyes 
a squeal and
random babbling 
to anyone who will listen
and we all do.

Tonight I kissed you goodnight 
and said ‘I love you’
As I closed the door I heard 
‘love you’ back.

I love you, dear one. 
May you always have your playful excitement for life and sweet snuggles – the world needs more of you.

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10.5 Months

A small tuft of blonde hair bounces 
as you shake your head ‘no no no’
Your eyes sparkle and 
transform into half moons
Lips spreading into a smile

And you’re off just like that

Little legs and puffs of breath 
working in tandem
Stand steady, wobble, butt, crawl, 
dagny, hi, wave and repeat. 

You marvel at the world
Curious and fearless
Unbound 
And 
Untainted. 

The world grows
My heart leaps 
As you stumble towards the door

How quickly (and slowly) time passes
(I try to appreciate it all)
How I wish to freeze this moment 
yet yearn to see the future you
Let this memory seer deep into my core, 
The fabric of my being

Sweet, little one, grow, slow, keep on, stay here
Let me hold you for just a little longer right here

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You Don’t Gotta Crawl Before You Walk

As we approach Hazel’s 10th month, she’s growing and changing so rapidly that it’s hard to believe. She never crawled, but it’s clear that walking is just around the corner. The Haze loves to pull herself up and walk around with some assistance. She also wants to speak and communicate. The dada’s abound. Her charm is overwhelming.

Her sleeps have been markedly improved, though we appear to be on an ‘every-other-day’ schedule. One night she’ll sleep straight through. The next, she’s up and struggling. It beats the alternative though.

Also, giggles. So many giggles.

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Sleep Was Not for You

Once again, willful one,
You decided that sleep was not for you

You decided that pre-dawn conversations
Would improve your language skills

Through the crackling in a tinny delight
the monitor recalled your dream

Were you saving the universe, my little force of power? Or are you running around with Kibby? Grabbing her tail and squealing?

I smile in a haze
Maybe one day you’ll love to sleep in

And when you do I’ll remember this night.

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Belly Raspberries

Blinking away the fog of sleep
Confusion dissolves
with a toothless grin

A sudden eruption
of laugher
tickles my ears

Our eyes meet
and in that moment
is an infinite
understanding

In this moment
you are football sized
with little rolls on your legs
wide spreading fingers
and kicking legs

In this moment
You are angry
No, happy, sad, calm and raging

In this moment
this brief second
I realize
that I am like you
Naive and curious

Who will you be when you grow up?
What you spike your interest?
Who knows?

For now, belly raspberries will do.

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Star Struck

You, sweet one,
gaze up at the stars
floating above your head

They bounce
and sway
as your hands reach upwards

Just yesterday
you hardly noticed them
but now
how fancinating
they are
Even more since they are just out of reach from those octopus blind arms

I see how the wheels spin in your mind
Complex algorithms
A mathmatical whirl

your determination grows

Reach up
Wiggle fingers
Sigh

Grasp
Hold
Mouth
A silent cheer of happiness as you swing your prize about

How sweet is my reward of seeing you

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4am

I found my heart
full
this morning

In the dark veil of night
I crept about the house
Musing over the soft sighs
and coos from the other room

We rocked
Your body melted into mine

my heart
softened

The radiator’s clank
and the gentle glide of the chair
soothes like a calling
back to home

Back to rest

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An Interesting Month

Hazel has discovered some likes and dislikes. Mostly dislikes. And she’s not afraid to scrunch her face up and breathe angrily through her nostrils about it.

Month 6 has been a rollercoaster. From not sleeping to sleeping entirely through the night for close to two blissful weeks, to sleeping worse than ever for a week. Never a dull night. The bad nights unfortunately color everything else with a certain exhausted misery but we try to stay ever positive.

She’s so much more interactive, feeding herself small bites of food, eggs, avocados, and discovering chocolate-chip cookies with tremendous fervor. It’s amazing how curious she is about her environment and the things and people in it. And how judgmental. Hazel’s scrutiny, for a 6-month-old, is alarming. She watches with great appraisal all in her view. I think it’s a wonderful thing.